Can Emotional Abusers Change? Quiz

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If you are the victim of abuse or the perpetrator of abuse, you probably want to know, “Can abusers change?”

Abuse exists because of dysfunctional attitudes and patterns of behavior. Abusers can certainly change their behavior for the better. However, it takes the right approach and hard work.

Start your journey to end emotional abuse by taking the, Can Emotional Abusers Change? quiz.

Learn if the person who is abusing you (or if you are the abuser) has the necessary attitude and approach to STOP the abuse, contribute to the healing of the victim of the abuse, and never abuse again.

Take this 15 questions quiz and find out!

Can Emotional Abusers Change?

15 easy to answer questions

Choose your answer

1. Is the abuser enthusiastic about learning how to behave respectfully, kindly, and lovingly towards his or her partner?
2. Does the abuser recognize the seriousness of his or her abusive behavior?
3. Does the abuser look for opportunities to become a ‘best possible’ partner?
4. Does the abuser acknowledge that his or her past abusive behavior was wrong?
5. Does the abuser sincerely try to learn from past wrongs and learn how to be better in the future?
6. Is the abuser willing to listen to the victim of his or her abuse when he or she wants to talk about what happened?
7. Does the abuser want help to overcome his or her past abusive behavior?
8. Does the abuser feel remorse for his or her past bad behavior?
9. Does the abuser accept that he or she needs to assist in the healing required by the victim of abuse?
10. Does the abuser empathize with the suffering he has caused his or her partner (the victim of the abuse)?
11. Is the abuser willing to discuss his or her past abusive behavior and how to fix the relationship damage he or she has caused?
12. If needed, is the abuser willing to learn proper relationship behavior from a trained professional?
13. Does the abuser try to understand why he or she has behaved abusively?
14. Has the abuser apologized for his or her bad behavior?
15. Does the abuser acknowledge that only he or she alone is responsible for stopping all of his or her abusive behavior?

Can Emotional Abusers Quiz Score... what it means to you... and what you should do next

Hi, this is couple therapist Abe Kass, MA RSW RMFT.

Let's review your Can Emotional Abusers Change? Quiz score.

Keeping in mind Your Score, scroll-down until you find the range for your score. Then read what your 'results' mean.

15 points. Yes, your partner is ready to stop all abuse and change for the better.


Based on your quiz results, it seems like your partner has come to understand how wrong abuse is and what he or she needs to do to make amends. You are fortunate!

14 - 12 points. Your abusive partner is on the road to recovery.


The abusive partner needs additional work to have the right attitude and behavior to stop all abuse. He or she should continue to educate and sensitize himself or herself to be more committed to being a non-abuser.

Less than 11 points. The ‘abuser’ has the wrong attitude about abusive behavior, how wrong it is, the damage it causes, and will likely continue the abuse in the future. The fewer points your abusive partner received under '11 points,' the less likely he or she is ready to change for the better.


Likely your abusive partner needs professional help to stop his or her harmful ways. Personal and relationship therapy, anger management, honesty, sensitivity training, spiritual commitment, education about relationships will all likely help this person get ‘real’ about what he or she has done or is still doing.

What to do next:

1. You may be interested in watching this video to learn more about, Can emotional abusers change?

Emotionally Abusive Relationship Healing

2. Get our FREE 58-page Marriage and Committed Relationship Guide, Be A Couple Team — the ten most important guidelines. Included is a section on how to reduce anger.

Click to download, Be A Couple-Team — The 10 most important guidelines FREE  eBook